Pema Chodron’s forced apology proves Shambhala’s denial of Sangha crime

Having recently been forced to acknowledge that her coldhearted response to an allegation of rape was dismissive and shameful, one of the world’s most famous buddhists has also failed to call for the application of justice to the crime.

In the letter she strains to write that there ought to be, “…consequences”, to the crime but only after having been shamed into publicly acknowledging her victim blaming of years ago. She appears unaware of the need to investigate the allegation of clergy sexual misconduct against a senior Shambhala Teacher, while recognising that she was and presumably remains wrong to dismiss it.

Apologising for reacting improperly to an allegation of criminal activity is one thing, but to leave the elephant standing in the room after she departs for the second time is  inexcusable considering her years of eloquently teaching buddhist ethics to millions of people. It renders her authority as buddhist figure devoid of integrity.

She now chairs Shambhala’s effective Board of Directors. It will shortly receive ‘the Wickwire Report’ on the various allegations of clergy sexual misconduct within the organisation, most pointedly by its leader, Osel Mukpo. That report will have no doubt been edited by Shambhala’s lawyer, Alex Halpern. It is his responsibility to be the first to receive the Report from Wickwire Holm, the company which has been compiling it for two months now having failed to contact many of the outspoken survivors of this Sangha’s abuse, such as myself. The Report will, paradoxically continue to be referred to as ‘independent’ and ‘professional’ by the Shambhala International despite it glaringly apparent flaws and procedural conflicts of interest.

Shambhala International is now proving itself totally inept at acknowledging abuse, the message to survivors being unchanged from the ’70’s: “Be grateful for the experience as a teacher. We don’t care that your life has been shattered.” This is going to be a slow, painful death of an organisation which is as painful as it is instructive to watch. How I forgive myself for being suckered is a quandary made easier by knowing that millions are in the same position, across various Sanghas and Churches.

Pema Chodron’s letter is written as though presented by the Transition Task Force which she Chairs. The Task Force’s role is to steer the organisation through this time of “crisis”, catalysed by various ugly truths rearing their heads as they inevitably would have done eventually. In truth, this is less of a crisis than plain old karma.

I submit that a more mature response in keeping with the ethics on which she has so extensively written over decades, would have been for Pema Chodron to openly and courageously call for a reversal of the way in which the victim here was dealt with. Some recognition should, in my view, have been made that Pema Chodron’s response was part of the systemic approach to blame the victim and that this served nobody’s long term or short term interests.

She should have called for an investigation to have been opened specifically to look at this case and to examine ways in which such victim blaming could be avoided in the future, if only to avoid being dragged into making a reluctant apology for dismissing crime by being publicly shamed years after the event. At the very least some recognition should have been made that the possibility that a violent sexual deviant is at large within the hierarchy of Shambhala and that this makes the Sangha significantly unsafe.

Perhaps that day will yet come. With respect to reversing institutional reactions to sexual misconduct some inspiration for applying institutional courage absent all the flowery Shambhala language is found at Oregon University, as here: https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/oregon-state-university-sexual-assault_us_56f426c3e4b02c402f66c3b9

Perhaps Pema would benefit more from walking that example than sensationally advertising her tapes online. Clearly the latter is making way more money.

 

***

Transition Task Force Letter, September 2018

“Recently, we requested Ani Pema Chödrön, as a member of the Transition Task Force, to write a letter to the Shambhala community. The request arose as a way to share the outcome of her communication with the woman who spoke of Ani Pema in the third Project Sunshine document.

But it evolved as a request to share with the community how Shambhala might effect long-lasting culture change around the embedded patterns of sexual abuse and abuse of power. We deeply appreciate Ani Pema’s beautiful, honest, and humble response and advice for us all.

The Transition Task Force

Dear Shambhala Community:

I would like to share some thoughts I have about the need for a deep and lasting change in the Shambhala culture regarding sexual abuse of power. These thoughts are prompted by the reports of the Sakyong’s sexual misconduct and by reports of harm caused by many others in the sangha.

Recently, someone outside our community asked me if I thought Shambhala had a loose sexual culture. It was such a non-aggressive and straightforward question that I answered without even thinking, “it sure does!” Then reflecting on this later, I had to admit that I had always thought of it this way.

I entered Vajradhatu (as we were then called) in the 1970s as a fairly new celibate nun who had been instructed by my teacher Chögyam Trungpa, to keep my vows impeccably but to not be too uptight. I think that it’s no exaggeration to say that at that time the community was famous for being wild … a group that was characterized by a lot of drinking and a lot of sex. I was not put off by this, and it did not seem to me to be a problem. It was the 70s and free love was practically a cultural norm.

After Trungpa Rinpoche’s death in 1987 and despite a huge community upheaval around the Vajra Regent’s sexual conduct a few years later, it seemed to me that this free love culture continued pretty much as before. Then slowly bit by bit some women got up the courage to complain about inappropriate (even creepy) advances from teachers at programs, or their meditation instructors, or others in positions of power. The problem however was that there really wasn’t anyone official to complain to. Women would come to me or to Judith Simmer-Brown or Judy Lief or other sympathetic women, and we would try to help but found there was almost nothing we could do to address the behavior. There was not what you would call a cover-up but rather the whole situation where complaints were most often met in Shambhala with the attitude of “what’s the big deal?“ or “oh that’s just what he’s like.” In other words, this sexual behavior was considered no problem. The culture of looseness was systemic. Sometimes there was sympathy but that was about it. The upshot was, as we are now finding, that this culture gave permission to various individuals to do some very harmful things to women of all ages. People, mostly women, were getting hurt. In response to this in 2002, the Care and Conduct Policy was created, and an International Panel convened, to deal with a situation that was finally being recognized as harmful to everyone involved, both accuser and accused. This was certainly a step forward. Yet currently some women are saying that when they reported sexual misconduct or abuse to the Panel, their stories were heard with real sympathy and concern but in their cases, there was no meaningful follow through, and limited consequences. The culture of looseness, although less pervasive, continued until the present when there is now an upsurge of pent-up reports of abuse in the organization that are pouring out. I feel we are indeed experiencing the ripening of some very old karma.

In my opinion, it is good news that this is all coming out and that the old culture is being shaken up. When things fall apart like this, there is the chance for positive change. That, of course, is our challenge; how to work with all that is coming to the surface in a way that is compassionate, courageous, and dharmic, and to not let politics outweigh kindness. As many people have written to me, now is our chance to work with this painful history, and with the people who have been harmed, in a way that truly manifests enlightened society – that truly honors the basic goodness of all concerned.

I had an experience recently that brought home to me the importance of openhearted communication in this forward going process.

In the third Project Sunshine, I was described as having said some very unskillful, unkind words to a young woman who confided in me that she had been raped and become pregnant by the director of her Shambhala Center. Through An Olive Branch, I was able to get the young woman’s permission to contact her, and then we were able to talk. This was a frightening experience for both of us. We were both too nervous to eat before the call, and we both prepared by sitting. When we actually began talking, however, it got easier. I began by apologizing for the things I had said and then asked if she had anything she wanted to say to me. It turned out she had many questions for me, and I tried to answer them as genuinely as I could. We talked for a long time, and ultimately the apology gave rise to a very insightful and honest conversation. In the end, we both said we felt good about the outcome of meeting one another like this, and I was able to tell her that I feel very differently now; I believe what she told me and, going forward, I hope to be a better listener and not again say such insensitive and hurtful remarks to those who come to me for help. She said that for her it was important that from now on, Shambhala manifest as an organization that she could feel really does care, and that a new Shambhala code of ethics has to be developed that supports people and gives them confidence that when harm is done there will be consequences. I feel, as she does, that consequences are very important.

I tell this story to point out the power of speaking openly with each other and apologizing whenever possible for any harm we’ve caused (intentionally or not). It also showed me the importance of honoring the other person‘s view of what happened. In other words, it showed me the importance of not going on the defensive but really listening and trying to stand in the other person’s shoes. Usually they are hurting and could use our help in order to heal.

This morning I picked up a lojong card that read, “Correct all wrongs with one intention.” That intention being, in Trungpa Rinpoche’s words, “to have a sense of gentleness toward others and a willingness to help others – always.” I guess that’s the main point – a willingness to think of others before ourselves and to communicate with each other in ways that bring us closer together rather than further polarize us. We won’t always get it right, but I say let’s have the courage to try.

May the Shambhala community come through this upheaval older but wiser, stronger and kinder, and may each and every one of us benefit from this chance for a fresh and possibly revolutionary new start.

Pema Chödrön”

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10 thoughts on “Pema Chodron’s forced apology proves Shambhala’s denial of Sangha crime

    1. The point I’m making is that Wickwire Holm can’t be said to be conducting a professional investigation on Shambhala’s systemic abuse as they are not approaching people like myself who are so vocal about it. Secondly, their findings will remain confidential until delivered to Shambhala’s lawyer who will then disseminate them as he sees fit, no doubt influenced by his loyalty to the accused. So, my point is that the investigation appears to be a sham.

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      1. I share your concern about how the report might be used. However, I also think that the lawyers themselves—as opposed to Shambhala International–are rather stuck between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, there are people who don’t want to be part of the whole process, some of whom have been critical of Wickwire for contacting them without them having contacted Wickwire first. On the other hand, there are those like yourself who are critical of Wickwire for not contacting them spontaneously. I have to say that, if I was conducting the investigation, I would be really unsure of whether or not to contact people spontaneously who might want to be involved in the process.

        I’m also not entirely sure, reading both this answer and your original post, whether you really want them to contact you or not. It reads a little bit as if you want them to get in contact, but only so that you can say no to them. It’s possible that they have read one of your posts and come to the same conclusion. After all, who would want to contact someone who doesn’t want to be contacted?

        It’s also possible that they haven’t been in contact simply because they don’t know who you are. I can imagine that, in your situation, you might feel as if everyone simply MUST know who you are, because you’ve been so vocal about your situation. However, I suspect it could easily be true that Wickwire haven’t ever seen this site…and I don’t imagine that SI have been providing them with lists of people who might be interested in talking to them or who have situations to report!

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      2. This is the fox guarding the chickens so no potential for resolution here. Fact is, SI is terrified to admit to the systemic harms it has allowed to unfold in the name of creating enlightened society over the last few decades. It seems clear to both myself and others close to the power structures within SI who have said as much to me, that a lawsuit will be its final demise.

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  1. I’ve received two poorly typed responses to this post which say little more than, I think Pema is good. So I haven’t published them because they add little to the conversation. Here’s my response to the person who wrote them:

    Dear Michael,

    As you posted the same message twice on my blog in response to the piece on Pema I figured you may be interested to hear from some other people. This is from a woman in New York (I believe), who appears to know Shambhala fairly well.

    The reason I didn’t post your comment is because I feel it doesn’t contribute to the debate. In my post I lay out an argument for removing Pema from her current leadership role based on her inability to focus on the present danger to society which the alleged predator presents, and instead to flesh out fine words of apology for overlooking crime at some point in the past.

    As you’ll see, perhaps, others are seeing far more serious implications in her letter, which now that I have read them appear just as if not more relevant than the points I have raised.

    “”Dear Pema, I’m confused as to how, in a ‘loose’ sexual culture, your male ‘teacher’ was responsible for policing and directing your sexuality as an adult woman. To me, it sounds like you are describing a culture of male control and dominance, that is not particularly loose for all of leadership (ie: men can hit people and have sex with children, and you were expected to be celibate). I’m also confused if it was so ‘loose’ as to why the secrets were held so tightly and the leaders protected with such vigor. If it was loose, I’m confused as to how women who were not allowed to do cocaine took responsibility for carrying it in such an organized fashion as to risk themselves and protect leadership from the natural consequences of their actions.
    When you refer to the sexual abuse of ‘women of all ages’ I think you mean CHILDREN. It’s difficult to have ‘loose’ sex with children, as it’s very illegal and therefor people must take incredible precautions to keep it secret for 40 years. I’m also confused as to how you take responsibility for this (which is the responsibility of the men involved), but somehow completely miss the point of being accountable for uplifting the leaders and systems of power that allowed for women and children to be abused… as you continue to quote them and tell us that your behaviors and thoughts continue to be directed by them at the end of your letter.

    Your responsibility is to stop keeping the secrets of these men, stop instructing that other people do as well. Stop quoting them and lifting them up. Call us when you figure out why you’ve been so drawn to protect them as you allowed children and women to be abused. Call us when uplifting your ‘lineage’ is no longer more important than having your own sense of ethical behavior. What you’re at fault for is not the actions of the men, it’s your own actions and non actions in protecting them and failing to report them as a fellow teacher and leader. Being nicer to the women who were abused while you did nothing is a great start, but you can do better. You can examine the ways that your teachings have been rooted in your own denial and stop telling women that things just ‘fall apart’. This is not a natural consequence of life. It is the natural consequence of patriarchy and systemically sanctioned sexual violence.”

    – Sydney Faith Rose

    Best wishes,

    Edmund Butler

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  2. Excellent piece, Edmund.

    On Sun, Sep 23, 2018 at 8:35 AM The Shambhala International Sangha ~ tolerating crime as enlightened activity wrote:

    > Edmund Butler posted: “September 22nd. 2018 Pema Chodron released an open > letter (as below), essentially apologising for having shown lack of empathy > in response to an allegation of rape. However, by omission, she appears > unaware of the need to investigate the allegation of cl” >

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  3. Dear Edward:

    Thank you for this post.

    Reading it, really, I am not disappointed or shocked anymore. Of course, Pema is making it a ‘systemic problem.’ That way, no one has to take individual responsibility. “Let us both have a nice talk, I will manipulate you with my kind and humble and celebrity nun status and my ‘oh so sincere-appearing apology’ and we will ‘emote together’, because sharing our feelings is more important than nasty reason, logic and common sense that would lead you to go to the western police and actually stop this abuse.”

    These female enablers who are clinging on, white-knuckled in the same old dream, are the Stockholm victims, or the coldest-hearted ones; in it for their own perks. And, they most desperate; because they have the most to lose. They won’t be enfolded in the larger, misogynistic Lamaist net; able to continue their con in China. They know that.

    Chris

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    1. She has apologised for speaking dismissively and rudely to a survivor who came to her in good faith for assistance. Pema has apparently not yet done anything to help resolve what is clearly a believable, egregious sexual assault. So how can anyone have faith in her chairing the committee appointed by those similarly accused of different and equally egregious sexual assaults, and tasked with appointing a board of directors for Shambhala who will oversee resolution of sexual assault and abuse of power claims? It is of course impossible!

      Shambhala’s Administrators have their heads so far up their arseholes that anyone is doing them a favour by saying so at this point… imho. The same goes, naturally, for the leader, Mr. Mukpo who models the behaviour which his appointed Administrators reflect in order to stay in office.

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  4. There never has been a culture on this earth where women wanted to be sexually abused. The culture of sexual abuse always has been a culture of men ignoring the humanity of women. Shut up Pema Chodron. You’re still covering for the abusers with your “culture” garbage nonsense.

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    1. To be clear, and fair, there are many women in Shambhala who are currently in a leadership position and who could be seen as enablers of sexual misconduct by men in the organisation. There are many others who have been simply participants or even onlookers in the situation and who have made decisions to look the other way.

      Case in point, Chodron recently apologised for victim blaming while overlooking the fact that the victim’s abuser (a rapist) remains at large, enabled by her lack of courage to call for justice. He is a revered, senior teacher in Shambhala, “…benefitting sentient beings”, by bringing them into the fold. Cost benefit analysis says he can rape one or two for the benefit of the many. This is typically how it goes down. Sacrifice the victim to avoid tarnishing Shambhala’s image.

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